简单经典的英文笑话带翻译？

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　　笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事，通过简单的英语笑话我们在娱乐的同时也可以无负担地学习到英语。本文是，希望对大家有帮助!
　　：Expand and contract 热胀冷缩
　　Teacher: We all know that heat causes an object to expand and cold causes it tocontract. Now, can anyone give me a good example?

　　John: Well, in the summer the days are long, and in the winter the days are short.

　　老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子?

　　约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。
　　：I guess you're right 我想你是对的
　　Son: Dad, give me a dime.

　　Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?

　　Son: I guess you're right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you?

　　儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。

　　父亲：儿子，你不认为你已经长大了，不该再老是一角一角地要钱了，不是吗?

　　儿子：爸爸，我想你是对的，那给我一块钱行吗?
　　：A great man 一名伟人
　　Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?

　　Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

　　老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗?

　　学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。
　　：Lady First 女士优先
　　A teacher asked her class: "Is the sentence 'The ox and the cow are in the fields' correct?" Most of the children said: "Yes, it is all right!" And only one little boy said: "No, it is not correct. The lady must be mentioned first."

　　一位老师问班上的学生：“‘公牛和母牛在田里’这个句子对吗?” 大多数学生回答说：“对，一点不错。” 只有一个小男孩说：“不对，应该先说女士。”
　　：Count Tomorrow Morning
　　It's a right. John is looking at the sky.

　　Tom is John's younger brother. He asks John "What are you doing?"

　　John says, "I'm counting stars.”

　　Tom laughs and says, "It's really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?"

　　这是一个晚上。约翰抬头看着天空。

　　汤姆是约翰的弟弟。他问约翰：“你在干什么?”

　　约翰说：“我在数星星。”

　　汤姆笑着说：“现在天空太黑了。你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢?”